Hogwarts: An Adventure
by manhattan martini
Summary: It's Red's fourth year in Hogwarts, but something has changed. Perhaps it's the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, or perhaps it's the way Gold's view regarding girls is starting to sound more appealing. And what is Team Rocket? — Hogwarts!AU


**Chapter I  
>Introduction<strong>

"Shove off—"

"_You _shove off—"

"_Tarantallegra_!"

Red peeked inside the compartment and hurried inside, running away from the argument erupting in the hallway. He shoved his trunk inside and set his feet on top of it, setting Aero's cage on the metal compartment above his head. His owl blinked and turned away to sleep.

It was empty, he noticed; but he liked empty. In the year before, he'd shared the booth with a girl who'd sweet-talked him out his hard-earned galleons. She was pretty, saccharine and personified Satan—_and_ she downed pumpkin pasties like she'd been starved all summer.

After that, Red found it was simply better to be left by himself. He stared out the window, where the Scotland fields stretched in shades of green. To say he didn't have any friends was … kind of accurate. He'd practically swam by his three years in Hogwarts. But who could blame him? Having led the life of a muggle, he was dazzled and awed by Hogwarts. Who cared about people when there were secret passages to be found, spells to be memorized, magical creatures running around in the forests surrounding the castle? Last year, he'd scored the second highest grade in Care of Magical Creatures, and that had been his very first year in the class!

"Can I sit here? All the other carriages are full."

He turned to the door and met the dull gaze of a redhead. His eyes were very light. He was already wearing his uniform, and although he was bringing his cloak over his shoulder, Red could tell he was a Slytherin by the colour of his tie. Although it didn't please him to share a carriage with a member of a rival team, he nodded and went back to staring out the window. The boy sat down, after putting his trunk and the covered cage of his owl inside, and pulled a book from beneath his cloak. It was called _Law and Literature, _and Red was just slightly impressed. It was a hard-to-digest book—he'd heard one of Gryffindor's prefects talking about it once.

"Are you done staring?"

"Sorry." He felt the tips of his ears burn as he looked away from the boy.

It was soon after that that the door to their booth slid open once more, and Red's stomach contracted in terror. It was the girl who had gotten him to pay for her meal, last year—wearing a green tie, as well! He should have known she was a Slytherin. He concentrated on the surfaces outside, hoping that somehow she wouldn't notice him.

"Silver, I was with you the whole time, so if anyone asks—"

"Yes," he replied, sounding bored.

"Great! Thanks. Hey, can I sit here too?" When Red turned to reply, she was already sitting down beside the boy called Silver. He turned away again, defeated. "What, you're still reading that? Boring! I've told you, _The Dream Oracle_ is where it's at. That stuff was _hilarious;_ I can't believe people actually buy that crap."

At that, Red couldn't help but to steal a glance at her.

"Hmm," replied Silver, as if he was not listening.

"So, what classes _did_ you pick?" Red took it to mean Silver was a third-year. He looked older, though, and Red squirmed a bit in his seat, trying to make himself look taller.

Silver set the book down.

"Ancient Runes and Care of Magical Creatures."

"Ancient Runes! Are you serious? It's not an active class at _all_." She eased back into her seat. "All you'll do will be to translate gibberish into English … You could've at least chosen Divination. It's a _blast_."

"You have Divination?" The words were out of Red's mouth before he could actually realise. "What's it like?"

She turned to him, not at all abashed that she was talking to a stranger (Red doubted she remembered him). "Oh, it's delicious. Professor Morty thinks he can _see_ things." She snorted in disbelief and shook her head. "All we ever do is drink tea and keep a dream journal, which is rather entertaining to keep. It was my highest grade last year—a whopping ninety-eight per cent!" She turned to Silver again. "Well, at least you picked C. M. C., which is not that bad."

"It's a great class," Red said, feeling a little offended. Care of Magical Creatures was his favourite class. He'd heard rumours that Professor Oak had written dozens of books about magical creatures, but he'd never actually read one. Maybe this would be the year he'd finally go to the library; but then again, everyone said that the really interesting books were in the Restricted Area…

"Yes, if you like to wallow around in mud looking for wild caterpie."

"Blue," Silver warned, and Red looked out the window again, irked. The girl—apparently named Blue—huffed, rolling her eyes.

"Well, I'm going back to my compartment. Have fun in the loser room," she said, grinning brilliantly, and walked out the door. Red could hear the faraway yells of someone who'd been cast a _tarantallegra_ charm before she closed the door.

_Slytherins_, Red thought with a scowl. _They are all the same_. He slouched in his seat, yawning, and decided that all he needed to cheer up was to take a long, quiet nap.

By the time Hogwarts Express arrived at Hogsmeade Station, Red was starving. He'd fallen asleep, and Silver hadn't woken him up when the food cart passed by. His stomach growled loudly, and he sighed. It would be an hour or so until dinner—the carriages hadn't arrived yet, and there would still be The Sorting to attend, too … He'd kill for a cauldron cake.

"Excuse me!"

Blue elbowed him as she ran across the station, snickering all the while. He glared at her, holding his arm pitifully, wishing that she would trip on the pavement. When she was out of his sight, he looked around, trying to find someone he knew. He saw Misty animatedly chatting with a tanned boy, and thought to greet her. However, he remembered that ever since last year, she'd been acting rather cold towards him. He remained put.

A cheerful, loud voice sounded in his ear, attracting the eyes of several passers-by.

"Red! Where the hell were you? I tried searching for you, but you were nowhere to be found!"

It was Gold, beaming at him as usual. He was holding his frog in his left hand, and holding his wand in the other. Red hadn't taken his wand out of his pocket yet, and probably wouldn't until tomorrow, unless …

"You did?"

"Yeah, but, you know, I got busy along the way …"

Red rolled his eyes, and watched as Politaro—affectionately nicknamed Polly by everyone else—, Gold's frog, jumped out of his hand and disappeared behind the crowd's feet. "I'm sure you did—_accio_."

"Oh, man, it was this gorgeous Hufflepuff girl; I couldn't pass _that_ up, okay? She had this posture like you wouldn't believe and—thanks—she was totally, and I mean _totally_ into me." He hit Polly on the head with two fingers, chiding him as he placed him inside his pocket.

Despite Red not knowing exactly what to say, he nodded unsurely. Gold had been a skirt-chaser from day one (even though he was one year younger), and he'd already developed a reputation as Gryffindor's loveable lecher. All in all, he was a good friend and an even better wingman, not that Red had experienced his help in 'getting girls'. Red stared at the spot where Misty had been, and frowned.

"—hey, hey, are you listening?"

"…Yes," Red replied distractedly, following Gold towards the carriages. Brawly—the new Groundskeeper, after Wake's retirement last year—was ushering the first years with a wide grin on his face, telling them all about the arduous, horrible test they would have to endure to join a house. Gold was staring, too. "Are you … Are you checking out _the_ _first-years_?"

"What? No!"

"It looked like you were—"

"I was _not_—"

"You _were_!" Red grinned at him and changed the subject. "So, did you pick C. M. C. and Divination like you wanted?"

Gold looked out the window, waiting for the carriages to pick up pace. There were still people outside. "Well, I … I picked C. M. C. and Muggle Studies."

"Muggle Studies? You don't know anything about muggles!"

The younger boy shifted in his seat. Gold came from a pure-blood family—he'd been born and raised as a wizard, and his contact with the muggle world was minimal. In fact, when Red had shown him a picture of him when he was younger, he'd expressed incredible shock when he noticed Red wasn't moving. He'd also made fun of Red's hair, but … that was already normal.

"I just thought I should broaden my horizons, okay? Blimey, Red, I am curious about muggles. They are primitive and they have really boring lives—but maybe they're kind of fun to read about, eh? Plus, if I don't understand something, I'll just ask you, you know?"

"Yeah," Red said sourly, rolling his eyes. He should've known there was something more to it than 'muggles are interesting'. Of course Gold would want to pick something he could have help on …

"Excuse me," a pleasant voice declared, "would you mind sharing the coach with us?"

The girl who'd spoken was standing by the door of the carriage. She had long brown hair and bags under her eyes, but that didn't take away from her beauty. Behind her was a tall boy with glasses; he had dark hair and stood impeccably straight.

"Please do," Gold said, extending a hand to help her up. "I've never seen you around—what's your name?"

"Caitlin, maybe we should find our own carriage," the boy said, pushing his glasses up his nose. He was staring at Gold with a less-than-friendly frown, but the boy was impervious to it, focusing his whole attention on the girl named Caitlin.

"Nonsense, Darach, this coach is perfectly adequate," she replied curtly. However, she didn't take Gold's hand when she climbed up, instead helping herself up. She sat next to Red, and Gold was a little put off, but Red knew he wasn't going to be upset over such a thing.

Darach climbed after her, closing the door behind him and sitting next to Gold. From the colours of their ties, he found out Caitlin and Darach were Ravenclaws.

"So, what year are you?" Gold asked.

"Seventh," the boy called Darach replied dryly.

"I wasn't asking you."

Darach's eyes narrowed. Red, although amused, didn't want to partake in the conversation, and so he continued playing with the cuffs of his shirt.

"This will be my fifth year," said Caitlin, who had been looking out the window for quite a while. She didn't seem particularly interested in Gold. The carriages in front of theirs had begun moving, and soon after that their coach followed suit.

Gold—who was a third year—frowned just slightly. Red knew he thought older girls were a fun challenge, but he doubted even Gold would hit on a girl two years older than him. … Especially when someone like Darach was sticking around to witness it.

They spent the rest of the trip in silence. Gold played with Polly, while Red imperceptibly pulled his wand out of his pants' pocket. He didn't like entering Hogwarts without a firm grip on his wand (holly and dragon heartstring); it made him feel vulnerable. He never knew when Gold would put a tongue-tying curse on him, "as a joke". Ever since the beginning his second year, he'd learned not to trust him, not even while he was at the dinner table. He was too much of an incorrigible trickster to care about Professor Oak's disapproving glares (and Koga's point docking). And while Red wasn't the only one who was on the end of his practical jokes, he still received some of them.

"You are _such_ a pussy," Gold said, staring at Red's wand, and Darach made a funny noise, like he was choking. Gold promptly sneered at him.

"Shut up," Red replied, smiling. Hopefully he would be dissuaded from attempting anything funny after witnessing Red's state of awareness. They arrived the front doors soon after that, exempt of cursing one another.

Darach got out first, helping Caitlin get down, eliciting an undignified growl from Gold: "Oh, so she'll take _his_ hand, but not mine—"

The two Ravenclaws went on ahead while Red and Gold stayed back, trying to find anyone else from their house.

"Whatever happened to Misty? I saw her a while ago, before we boarded?"

"Oh, I don't think she'd like to hang out with us anymore." Gold pointed towards the doors. "Hey, I think I just saw Olivia holding hands with Du! That _cheating bint_—"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Red asked, frowning.

"It means she's bound to get mono this year," replied Gold. When he saw Red's cold stare, he rolled his eyes. "God, _okay_—it means she's sick of us. It means she's sick of wasting her time wanting something she can't have."

"And what's that?"

Gold stared at him, softened gaze in check, and walked towards the doors, not answering. They were some of the last students outside.

"Gold?"

"It's my dick, okay? I didn't want to tell you because you'd be angry—_ow, fuck_!"

Red punched him in the shoulder. He knew he wasn't serious, but when Gold didn't want to say what was on his mind, no one would make him say it.

"Fifteen points docked from Gryffindor. I see we are starting the year in crass fashion, Mr. Gold," a deep, mean voice said from over their heads. Red looked up, startled, and met the satisfied gaze of Professor Koga. "As it is already expected of you."

Red found that Koga wasn't as tall as he remembered him being. He'd had a growth spurt in the summer, and was incredibly gleeful when he noticed the professor no longer towered above him—the top of his head reached his shoulders. The young boy, however, almost jumped when Koga bent over him.

"Something amusing, Mr. Red?"

"No. _Sir_."

Koga's lip curled in contempt, and from his expression, Red could foresee the sarcastic, deadpan speech that would inevitably make its way out of Koga's narrow smile. Luckily, they were rescued by a pair of second-year Hufflepuffs who were trying to charm the suits of armour in the Entrance Hall—Koga had no chance to deliver the taciturn recitative. Before walking towards the youngsters, he glared at them.

"My _god_, that asshole scared the fuck out of me," Gold let out through gritted teeth, hurrying towards the Great Hall. He didn't stop stealing glances over his shoulder, though, and Red snickered. "Something amusing, Mr. Red?"

"No, sir."

They laughed as they ran inside, sitting at the Gryffindor table. Red sat between a brunette and Gold, excitedly greeting everyone. Bill, a seventh-yeah, smiled brightly at him from across the table. He couldn't help but to falter a little when Olivia Clark waved at him from the end of the table, because Gold chose that moment to cough something that sounded suspiciously like "slut".

"You're a hypocrite," whispered Red, when Olivia turned away to chat to Marion.

"At least I don't cheat," replied Gold.

"_What! _That is the biggest load of bull I've ever heard!"

Gold grinned and turned away from him, starting to talk to Taylor Dixon, a sixth-year who shared the same womanizing tendencies as him. Red stared at his empty plate while they traded tips, stomach rumbling.

It was almost a blessing when Agatha—the History of Magic teacher—walked inside the Great Hall, leading the nervous-looking first-years inside. The tables turned to look at them, a sudden silence reigning over the room. Red would always wonder if he'd looked as scared as the new students.

It didn't help that Agatha was the sternest teacher in the school. She was very short for a woman her age—she was easily the same size as Red—but her posture gave her five extra inches. Her back was very straight, and even though her greying, short blond hair was loose, falling above her shoulders, her whole body language warned everyone around her that she was someone who would not tolerate sloppiness.

Her purple dress swept the floor as she hurried towards the table, receiving a tall scroll from Professor Morty, and she smirked at the first-years. Red thought he saw some of them shiver.

"When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted," she said. "Abraham, Birgit!"

A small, brown-haired girl walked to the hat and put it on. She didn't look very nervous. The sorting hat moved, as if it were breathing, and then, as soon as it touched the top of her head—

"SLYTHERIN!"

The Slytherin table erupted into cheers; Abraham looked very satisfied with herself as she sat down next to a girl Red recognized—it was the girl called Blue, the one from the train. She greeted the newcomer girl and, when she noticed him staring, she blew him a kiss.

Red sharply switched his gaze to the stool again, feeling the back of his neck heat.

There was another girl underneath the hat—RAVENCLAW!—and then a boy—HUFFLEPUFF! Agatha let him sit down and she called "Berlitz, Platinum" to the stool. She was a very regal-looking girl, and she had the exact same posture as the History of Magic teacher. Agatha smiled at her slightly—Red gawked, astonished—before she put on the hat. It barely touched her head when it shouted "RAVENCLAW!"

The Ravenclaw table clapped and Red heard two boys clamouring "we got Berlitz! We got Berlitz!" Red wondered if he was supposed to know who Berlitz was, when Bill desolately said that he'd wanted Berlitz in Gryffindor.

"Who's she?" Gold asked Bill.

The older boy stared at Gold incredulously. "She's the granddaughter of Professor Rowan—"

"No way! The co-author of—" Red started.

"—Magical Creatures' Classification?" the brunette by his side finished, completely ignoring the girl who'd been talking to her. She looked offended, and turned to the other side. Gold rolled his eyes, muttering "nerds", and went back to discussing who the prettiest girls were.

"Yeah," Bill said, and the hat shouted "SLYTHERIN!" once more. They were no longer paying attention. "He's a friend of Professor Oak, as well. They went to Hogwarts together. He's an authority when it comes to animals and their magic properties."

"Oh, man, I'm going to ask 'er all about that later," the girl said. She had a very funny accent. "My father's a total fan of 'im, as well!"

"Your father?"

"Uh, yeah! Profess_o_r Birch?"

Bill almost jumped out of his seat.

"GRYFFINDOR!" They stopped the conversation momentarily to clap and cheer when "Oscar, Clive" joined the table. He was a tiny boy with an affected smile, but he was clearly very excited to have been put in Gryffindor.

"Your father is _profes_—! I'm—I am a huge fan of his theory of evolution, you know? It raises lots of interesting questions, especially about spectres and their origins!"

"I guess so. I'm not very into evolution, though. I'm more of a researcher myself. I'm Sapphire! I don't think we've met yet." She jokingly extended a hand, but Bill took it and shook it energetically.

"I don't remember seeing you around, last year."

"Well, yeah," she said, "I wasn't around much. I was helping my father with his own research. I barely attended any classes. I had to take all the examinations before the year ended, though …" She made a face. "My grades were horrible 'cos o' that."

The hat shouted once more—"HUFFLEPUFF!"—and Professor Oak rose from his seat. The salon quieted down when the man stood up, touching his knife to his glass.

Professor Oak was a man in his sixties, with cropped hair and a stern face. Those who knew him, however, knew that he was a kind, dedicated teacher, and that he worked night and day (if necessary) to better Hogwarts in any way. He allowed himself a brief smile before directing the students.

"We meet again after the summer holiday. I hope you enjoyed your time off, and I greet you tonight—welcome, new students, and welcome, old students. There is a year before you, and I hope you enjoy it." He smiled, and the students cheered. Agatha was putting the hat away, and she sat down beside him, on his left. "I have a special communicate to make, although. I am sad to say our Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, Ms. Phoebe, has left us to pursuit a change in her career. May we hope that she succeeds as a Curse-Breaker." He harrumphed. "In her place, we are going to welcome Professor Giovanni, who has decided to fill our D. A. D. A. position."

Red frowned, and felt a little guilty that he hadn't noticed that he hadn't noticed that Professor Phoebe was gone; then again, he hadn't really paid attention to the table yet. She'd been a lovely teacher, and she wasn't been shy about rewarding points at all. He was fond of her…

Professor Giovanni was a tall, sharply-dressed man whose eyes were very dark, even in the lightened room. Red's first thought about him was that he was an impressive person, and when he sat down again, he was smiling an amiable smile. Professor Sabrina was sitting next to him, looking a little flushed in the face when he turned to address her. She was the Charms teacher, and she was formidable at her job, even if she despised anyone who would go against her. She threw her long hair over her shoulder and giggled. Red looked away; watching someone as cold as her giggle like a schoolgirl made his stomach lurch.

In the left end of the table, Janine and Falkner, the Transfiguration and Flying professors, were locked in a heated argument, but Red couldn't hear what they were talking about. Surprisingly, Janine knew how to wield a knife.

Blaine was sitting on the right side of Professor Oak. He was the Head of Gryffindor House, and he waved in the Gryffindor table's general direction before taking a bite out of—

"Oh," Red said, staring at the table.

The usual dinner was set out on the long wooden table. He helped himself, and ate.

He felt ridiculously happy.

* * *

><p>The Common Room was full of people. Most of them were busy telling about their summers—Red overheard a girl talking about finding a baby dragon in her backyard and how her parents freaked out—but Red wasn't interested in sticking around to listen. Gold had convinced him to come along with them: they'd met a couple of girls who'd dared them to sneak inside their Common Room.<p>

"Is that even allowed?" Red asked.

Gold and the other boy, who was tagging along—his name was Joey—, stared at him with a smile.

"You can be such a git sometimes," Gold said, rolling his eyes. "Who cares if it's allowed or not? As long as they don't find us, we should be fine, yeah? Plus, it's the first night, nothing's going to happen—oh, you'd best leave your tie, your jacket and your cloak behind, we don't want anyone to notice we're Gryffindors. Just to be safe, yeah?"

"Are you going to tack on a 'yeah' at the end of all your sentences?" asked Red.

"Yeah," he replied, grinning.

"I don't think I want to go forward with this," Joey said. He was a short boy, and Red blanched when he realised he was one of the Sorted first-years.

Red grabbed Gold by the arm. "Did you just coerce a First into breaking the rules? Are you—for Pete's sake, I know you're a moron but this is taking it a little too far!" He sighed, and leaned against a wall. There was a small group in the Common Room still. He recognized Misty and another girl—Anabel—but other than that, he didn't know any of the other girls the two were with. He caught the eyes of a smaller blonder girl whose cheeks flushed when she caught him staring. She quickly looked away, and when Red cocked his head, wondering and glancing around, he found Misty's blue eyes crackling at him. "Yeah, you know what, I'm just going to turn in for the night. I'm pretty tired, so—"

Gold stared at him, and then at Misty, and understood.

"You are such a pussy, man," he said, and pulled Joey away, headed towards the exit of the Common Room. Red sighed and walked towards the stairs, very pointedly not staring at the group of girls, who had silenced as soon as he passed by them.

Tomorrow would be another day.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Originally written for _pokanon_ (a. k. a. pokémon kink meme).

Critique is appreciated, and if someone with Harry Potter expertise wants to beta this, feel free to message me!


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